today i feel stressed out, like usual. i feel like i’m just breaking apart even more every day. i cannot manage to keep a friendship, it seems. i know i am not perfect, believe me. but i do not understand why people take advantage or someone who will do anything for them. I do not see how people can betray, backstab, etc etc. My best friend ditched me for my ex boyfriend. My other friend likes to tell my boyfriend how big of a slut i am. i’m just so over having friends. having girls to hang out with is fun, sure, but i would rather not get my feelings hurt in the long run.
The only good thing i have going is Mark.For 2 and 1/2 years, he has been my world.
the only person who i know tries his best to put a smile on my face. I see how his face lights up when he gets me to smile. I know he loves me. but along with his love, he gets jealous. since he expects to get hurt, he expects the worst from me. I guess jealousy is healthy sometimes, but it sucks when he gets mad for no reason. i can’t stand it when he ignores me, or is mad. its like something inside me snaps and i can’t control my crying.i think the worst that he will leave me forever. that our future will never become anything. i just freak out. i hate being so vulnerable…..
Because I honestly haven’t felt this alone in ages. I wish i had someone to talk to that would just randomly message me & tell ne they would listen
(Source: theliesofthesinners, via confession-depression-scene)
